Paul Martin And Joe Clark, Canadian Heroes

Edmonton - Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - by: Ron Thornton Marriage, Be It Same Sex, Same Family, Same Harem


Somewhere on some rocky outcrop, there begs to be a memorial of Mount Rushmore proportions to celebrate Canada's greatest Prime Ministers. If such a monument were to be built today, and there were room for more than twenty faces to be sculpted to peer down upon us, I am sure that both Paul Martin and Joe Clark would be so honoured.


Paul Martin is one of the great defenders of democratic principles and our historic past. If there is a quality Liberal candidate required anywhere, our Prime Minister is more than willing to make the appointment. If a seat on the Supreme Court should come up, I am confident our Prime Minister is more than willing to elect that person himself. If there is an advertising contract that needs to be awarded, recent news reports indicate that some think our Prime Minister is more than willing to make that selection. While most give homage to those Canadians who took part in the allied invasion of Normandy in 1944, our Prime Minister mentioned twice in the same speech the little known contingent that apparently stormed the Norwegian beaches that same day. Who can deny a man who has such a grasp on those things that give Canadians such pride?


Maybe, then, we should not be surprised that Joe Clark has come out to endorse Paul Martin's Liberals over the Conservatives of Stephen Harper. Similar to Mr. Martin in that neither could go six months before running into hot water in the top job, it would appear that Clark has issues with Harper in regards to such matters as human rights, environment, and bilingualism. He also seems to feel that a band of twenty-five Conservative senators, all appointed more than a decade ago by Brian Mulroney, have suddenly become, in Joe's published words, "Stephen Harper's senators." According to the man who served 39-weeks as our Prime Minister, these good folks in the upper chamber appear to have transformed into rednecks, holding up a bill that would outlaw any form of discrimination against anyone due to their sexual orientation. I think Mr. Clark is on the right track here. Banning by law any criticism or argument against anyone, by taking away the right of others to be disgusted, by ordering them to either embrace an alternative lifestyle fully in all areas of our society or just keep their reservations to themselves, celebrates both our freedoms and our democratic ideals in a wonderfully unique fashion.


I encourage Mr. Clark, before he moves from his present status as a political blip in our history to take his place as the next Arthur Meighen on some future Canadian student's history test, to present a bill banning all forms of discrimination against me, too. When I weighed 300 pounds, no one encouraged me to dance. When my hair fell out and the pounds crept on, no one was there to lock up those who thought I was no longer pretty enough to be a television anchor. When I pass wind in public, no one is there to defend my rights, to protect me against the social sanctions of those who might chastise me. When I tried out for track and field, no one was there to empower me, through rule changes, to celebrate the fact I was a runt with twenty-five inch long legs. However, with a little help from Joe Clark, all that is about to end. Hey, if there are enough of us, maybe we can even demand a parade of our own from some beleaguered civic official.
  By the time Joe and Paul are done, you won't even recognize the place. They make me proud to be Canadian.


Ron Thornton




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