From
Daniel Kurtzman,
Your Guide to Political Humor.
- "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees." —President
Bush, on "Good Morning America," Sept. 1, 2005, six days after repeated
warnings from experts about the scope of damage expected from Hurricane Katrina (Source)
- "What I'm hearing which is sort of scary is that they all want to stay in
Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people
in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway so this (chuckle) — this
is working very well for them." —Former First Lady Barbara Bush, on the Hurricane
flood evacuees in the Houston Astrodome, Sept. 5, 2005 (Source)
- "It makes no sense to spend billions of dollars to rebuild a city that's
seven feet under sea level....It looks like a lot of that place could be bulldozed."
—House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.), Aug.31, 2005 (source)
- "We've got a lot of rebuilding to do ... The good news is – and it's hard
for some to see it now – that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf
Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house – he's lost his
entire house – there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to
sitting on the porch." (Laughter) –President Bush, touring hurricane damage,
Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005 (Source)
- "Considering the dire circumstances that we have in New Orleans, virtually
a city that has been destroyed, things are going relatively well." —FEMA Director
Michael Brown, Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)
- "Brownie,
you're doing a heck of a job." —President Bush, to FEMA director Michael Brown,
while touring Hurricane-ravaged Mississippi, Sept. 2, 2005 (Source)
- "I have not heard a report of thousands of people in the convention center
who don't have food and water." —Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff,
on NPR's "All Things Considered," Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)
- "Well, I think if you look at what actually happened, I remember on Tuesday
morning picking up newspapers and I saw headlines, 'New Orleans Dodged the Bullet.'
Because if you recall, the storm moved to the east and then continued on and appeared
to pass with considerable damage but nothing worse." —Homeland Security Secretary
Michael Chertoff, blaming media
coverage for his failings, "Meet the Press," Sept. 4, 2005 (Source)
- "I mean, you have people who don't heed those warnings and then put people
at risk as a result of not heeding those warnings. There may be a need to look at
tougher penalties on those who decide to ride it out and understand that there are
consequences to not leaving.” —Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), Sept. 6, 2005 (Source)
- "You simply get chills every time you see these poor individuals...many
of these people, almost all of them that we see are so poor and they are so black,
and this is going to raise lots of questions for people who are watching this story
unfold." —CNN's Wolf Blitzer, on New Orleans' hurricane evacuees, Sept. 1, 2005
(Source)
- "What didn't go right?'" —President Bush, as quoted by House Minority
Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), after she urged him to fire FEMA Director Michael Brown
"because of all that went wrong, of all that didn't go right" in the Hurricane
Katrina relief effort (Source)
- "Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?" —House Majority
Leader Tom Delay (R-TX), to three young hurricane evacuees from New Orleans at the
Astrodome in Houston (Source)
- "We finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans.We couldn't do it,
but God did." —Rep. Richard Baker (R-LA) to lobbyists, as quoted in the Wall
Street Journal (Source)
- "Louisiana is a city that is largely under water." —Homeland Security
Secretary Michael Chertoff, news conference, Sept. 3, 2005 (Source)
- "I also want to encourage anybody who was affected by Hurricane Corina to
make sure their children are in school." —First Lady Laura Bush, twice referring
to a "Hurricane Corina" while speaking to children and parents in South
Haven, Mississippi, Sept. 8, 2005 (Source)
- "It's totally wiped out. ... It's devastating, it's got to be doubly devastating
on the ground." —President Bush, turning to his aides while surveying Hurricane
Katrina flood damage from Air Force One, Aug. 31, 2005 (Source)
- "I believe the town where I used to come — from Houston, Texas, to enjoy
myself, occasionally too much — will be that very same town, that it will be a better
place to come to." —President Bush, on the tarmac at the New Orleans airport,
Sept. 2, 2005 (Source)
- "Last night, we showed you the full force of a superpower government going
to the rescue." —MSNBC's Chris Matthews, Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)
- "You know I talked to Haley Barbour, the governor of Mississippi yesterday
because some people were saying, 'Well, if you hadn't sent your National Guard to
Iraq, we here in Mississippi would be better off.' He told me 'I've been out in the
field every single day, hour, for four days and no one, not one single mention of
the word Iraq.' Now where does that come from? Where does that story come from if
the governor is not picking up one word about it? I don't know. I can use my imagination."
—Former President George Bush, who can give his imagination a
rest, interview with CNN’s Larry King, Sept. 5, 2005 (Source)
- "We just learned of the convention center — we being the federal government
— today." —FEMA Director Michael Brown, to ABC's Ted Koppel, Sept. 1, 2005,
to which Koppel responded " Don't you guys watch television? Don't you guys
listen to the radio? Our reporters have been reporting on it for more than just today."
(Source)
- "I don't want to alarm everybody that, you know, New Orleans is filling
up like a bowl. That's just not happening." -Bill Lokey, FEMA's New Orleans
coordinator, in a press briefing from Baton Rouge, Aug. 30, 2005 (Source)
- "FEMA is not going to hesitate at all in this storm. We are not going to
sit back and make this a bureaucratic process. We are going to move fast, we are
going to move quick, and we are going to do whatever it takes to help disaster victims."
--FEMA Director Michael Brown, Aug. 28, 2005 (Source)
- "I don't make judgments about why people chose not to leave but, you know,
there was a mandatory evacuation of New Orleans." —FEMA Director Michael Brown,
arguing that the victims bear some responsibility, CNN interview, Sept.1, 2005 (source)
- "I understand there are 10,000 people dead. It's terrible. It's tragic.
But in a democracy of 300 million people, over years and years and years, these things
happen." --GOP strategist Jack Burkman, on MSNBC's "Connected," Sept.
7, 2005 (Source)
- "Thank President Clinton and former President Bush for their strong statements
of support and comfort today. I thank all the leaders that are coming to Louisiana,
and Mississippi and Alabama to our help and rescue. We are grateful for the military
assets that are being brought to bear. I want to thank Senator Frist and Senator
Reid for their extraordinary efforts. Anderson, tonight, I don't know if you've heard
— maybe you all have announced it -- but Congress is going to an unprecedented session
to pass a $10 billion supplemental bill tonight to keep FEMA and the Red Cross up
and operating." —Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA), to CNN's Anderson Cooper, Aug. 31,
2005, to which Cooper responded:
"I haven't heard that, because, for the last four days, I've been seeing
dead bodies in the streets here in Mississippi. And to listen to politicians thanking
each other and complimenting each other, you know, I got to tell you, there are a
lot of people here who are very upset, and very angry, and very frustrated. And when
they hear politicians slap — you know, thanking one another, it just, you know, it
kind of cuts them the wrong way right now, because literally there was a body on
the streets of this town yesterday being eaten by rats because this woman had been
laying in the street for 48 hours. And there's not enough facilities to take her
up. Do you get the anger that is out here?" (Source)
Quotes That Didn't Make the Top 25
"This is the largest disaster in the history of the United States, over an
area twice the size of Europe. People have to understand this is a big, big problem.''
—Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska), Sept. 6, 2005 (Source)
"A young [black] man walks through chest deep floodwater after looting
a grocery store in New Orleans..."
"Two [white] residents wade through chest-deep water after finding bread
and soda from a local grocery store after Hurricane Katrina came through the area
in New Orleans..." —captions at Yahoo News, Aug. 30, 2005 (Source)
"There are a lot of lessons we want to learn out of this process in terms of
what works.I think we are in fact on our way to getting on top of the whole Katrina
exercise." --Vice President Dick Cheney, Sept. 10, 2005 (Source)
"But I really didn't hear that at all today. People came up to me all day long
and said 'God bless your son,' people of different races and it was very, very moving
and touching, and they felt like when he flew over that it made all the difference
in their lives, so I just don't hear that." —Former First Lady Barbara Bush
to CNN's Larry King, after King asked her how she felt when people said that her
son "doesn't care" about race, Sept. 5, 2005 (Source)
"I'm going to go home and walk my dog and hug my wife, and maybe get a good
Mexican meal and a stiff margarita and a full night's sleep." —FEMA Director
Michael Brown, on his plans after being relieved from his role managing Hurricane
Katrina relief efforts, Sept. 9, 2005 (Source)
"Judge Roberts can, maybe, you know, be thankful that a tragedy has brought
him some good." —Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson, arguing that Supreme Court
nominee John Roberts stands to benefit from Hurricane Katrina because "inflamed
rhetoric in the United States Senate is just not going to play well now," Sept.
1, 2005 (Source)
"Bureaucracy is not going to stand in the way of getting the job done for the
people." —President Bush, Sept. 6, 2005 (Source)
"Louisiana's Senator Landrieu announced on network television, 'I might likely
have to punch him, literally.' And my question, since 'him' is the President, and
both punching and threatening to punch the President is a felony, has her qualifying
words 'might likely' saved her from arrest and prosecution?" -unknown reporter
to White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, Sept. 6, 2005 (Source)
"As of Saturday (Sept. 3), Blanco still had not declared a state of emergency,
the senior Bush official said." —Washington Post staff writers Manuel
Roig-Franzia and Spencer Hsu, who didn't bother to fact-check the blatant lie
peddled by the Bush administration as part of its attempts to pin blame on state
and local officials, when, in fact, the emergency declaration had
been made on Friday, Aug. 26 (Source)
"Just to get you on the record, where does the buck
stop in this administration?" —White House reporter
"The President." —White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, Sept. 6,
2005 (Source)
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