A public hug is ok, a kiss is not

February 25th, 2009
By Our Correspondent

The Obamas clearly aren’t afraid to get a little cosy in front of the cameras. Every time they made a public appearance together, the US President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle held hands, nuzzled, snuggled, danced and even kissed up a storm. While some ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ over Obama being a loving husband, many thought that his public display of affection or PDA, was unnecessary and distasteful.

There is a thin line between acceptable PDA and being downright explicit, feels actor Kamal Kamaraju. “PDA within limits is okay. The problem arises when there is sexual display of love. That is when people around you can get uncomfortable. Especially parents should be careful while displaying affection in front of their kids. Holding hands or a little hug is okay, but not beyond that.”

Model turned actor Milind Soman admits that he is unsure of where to draw the line. “When it comes to PDA, I am confused. Sexual gestures in public is not right. If you are sitting in the last row of a movie hall with your girlfriend, then who cares what you are doing. If you are standing at the bus stop though, you should stop at a hug.”

While Obama-style intimate hugging and kissing in public may be okay in most Western countries, in India, it is not acceptable.

Literary personality Anil Dharkar says, “When I first went to England as a young student, it was a kind of a culture shock for me to see both young and old couples kissing each other in public places where the public couldn’t care less. This issue is a cultural one and what is accepted in one place may be a taboo in another.”

However, designer Anand Kabra begs to differ. “I believe in the philosophy of ‘live and let live.’ If affection is a natural instinct, why stop it? But if it is not genuine and it is just a show of affection, it is wrong. Moreover, since we live in a conservative society, we need to be careful not to upset or hurt any body’s feelings,” he says.

While you may be all for display of love for your partner everywhere, there is a time and place for everything, feel experts.

Psychologist Dr Anjali Chabria says, “There is a line one should draw between decent and vulgar behaviour. And display of sexual affection of any kind is not for the public eye.”

How much is too much

• Public figures, especially politicians, should be careful about the image they are projecting. Show of affection can be endearing but sexual gestures can be distasteful.
• A bear hug is perfectly fine as long as you let go of your better half in a few seconds. A small kiss for a second is okay.
• Nothing can be more endearing than a couple holding hands. This form of PDA is okay so go ahead and hold her hand for as long as you want.
• Putting your arm round her waist is okay as long as it stays there. You may get a few glances from people around you but if it stays at the waist then there is no problem at all.
• A kiss on the lip can make people around highly uncomfortable, unless it is a quick peck.
• A public make out session is a complete no-no, no matter how jubilant the occasion is.