PRUDEN: It's about time we take the sex out of Halloween

BY JANA G. PRUDEN, THE LEADER-POST     OCTOBER 29, 2009

Columnist Jana G. Pruden writes about taking the sexy out of Halloween
Photograph by: Courtesy of overstock.com

Have you ever seen a sexy ladybug?

Unless you're a particularly kinky entomologist, probably not. Ladybugs are cute enough, but they don't have a whole lot of sex appeal. Or, at least they didn't. This weekend, it seems the whole city could well be crawling with the coquettish critters.

That's because "sexy ladybug" is just one of the many sexy Halloween costumes available for sale this season, fighting for space on Halloween costume racks with a variety of other sexy ensembles including sexy bumblebee, sexy lion, sexy teddy bear and sexy bat.

Two things occur to me. First, anyone who thinks a bat is sexy has never seen one close up, and second, Halloween has changed a lot.

I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but somewhere along the way Halloween shifted from a children's candy grab into a season of sexed-up adult entertainment. At some point, all Hallows Eve took on a decidedly unseemly tone.

When I was a kid, the only adults who dressed up at Halloween were the school librarian and a few dorky moms.

Now, children's Halloween costumes are increasingly pushed to the back of the rack, and the adult-rated apparel is front and centre.

In fact, the streets are eerily empty of children on Halloween night, while adult festivities have ballooned into a multi-billion dollar industry, second only to Christmas in sales and popularity.

Suddenly Halloween is like a big, nasty Valentines Day, but without dinner and roses.

I worked at a costume store several years ago, and many of our Halloween customers had an interest in sexy costumes, most often sexy witches, sexy vampires and sexy cats. Sexy nurses were also exceedingly popular, though it always struck me that it would be really hard to spend all day in the ER wearing stilettos.

These days, those kinds of costumes seem almost quaint.

Now there are rosters of sexy referees, sexy fairies, sexy gangsters, sexy police officers and sexy cartoon characters.

Virtually every costume you can think of is now shorter, tighter, bustier and "sexier" than ever before.

This makes Halloween a bit scarier than it used to be -- I saw a couple of sexy referees last year that looked more like linebackers -- but it raises even more serious concerns.

Increasingly, Halloween revellers look less like they're out to play some tricks, and more like they're about to turn some.

Halloween has its roots in the Celtic holiday of Samhain, when people wore disguises to protect themselves from bad spirits passing through from the otherworld.

I can't imagine what those spirits are thinking about all the fishnets and cleavage.

I'm not saying everyone should dress like nuns (although it's a cute costume), but I think it might be time for the entire event to take a long, cold shower.

Halloween has gotten about as sexy as it can get, and if we don't stop it now, I worry it may be too late. I can't even imagine where things could go from here.

I fear this sexidemic may soon start to spread to other holidays, and then no time of year will be safe.

Then there will be sexy Santas, sexy Easter bunnies, maybe even sexy turkeys at Thanksgiving. It's too much.

So, in the name of decency, I'm imploring all of you to buck the trend of tartiness, and go out as something truly unsexy this Halloween.

If you want to be a cat, try being an unsexy cat, one of those ones with scraggly fur and kitty litter on its paws. You could also be an unsexy cop, with a beer belly and a bad attitude, or an unsexy nurse, with ill-fitting scrubs and a pair of crocs.

And then maybe we can turn Halloween back into a wholesome, family holiday of ghouls, ghosts, flesh-eating zombies, axe murderers and the undead, the way it was always intended.

Unsexy emails can be sent to jpruden@leaderpost.canwest.com

© Copyright (c) The Regina Leader-Post