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Parting thoughts from the desert
Yuma, Arizona - Thursday, February 21, 2013
by:Michael Townsend

In Praise of Dogs
Many a man has gone into the desert to seek 'truth'. Many a sane man has gone into the desert and has come out less so. I am in the desert of Arizona. 'Truth' is ever elusive, insanity's borders are precipitously close. I write; but as a dyslexic, when I write about my dog I sometimes write god instead of dog. Thoughts about 'dog vs god' have emerged.

John Stuart Mill summed up his theory of a deity very deftly. He said, "Given the state of the world and what goes on in it, if there is a god and he is omnipotent, then he is malevolent. If there is a god and he is benevolent, then he is impotent." If you examine the lives of people who have dogs, you find that because of the presence of a dog, their lives are so much less omnipotent and so much more benevolent.

If you must believe in something external, try this on for size. Believe in Dog. It is pretty close to God, so it isn't hard to remember. A dog, rather than being all powerful, gives you his power. You know a dog is there because you can feel, hear, and smell him. If you are feeling, hearing, and smelling god, insanity's borders may still be close, but they've been clearly crossed. Love can be expressed to you by a dog. Love from god demands blind faith. When a dog lays his big head on your lap and looks into your eyes, there is no hidden agenda other than perhaps a walk or a treat. If you feel the hand of god directing you, it is the agenda of a fucking madman.

Are you looking for a moral code, a guide to better living as it were; commandments perhaps? Look no further my friend! There is a code set out by almost every dog. There are 11 commandments because dogs seem to know more.

  • When loved ones come home, run to greet them.
  • Nap often.
  • Stretch when you get up in the morning and before all walks.
  • Run, romp, and play daily.
  • Flourish on attention and let people pat your head and say, "Good boy!"
  • Don't bite when a growl will fill the bill.
  • On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
  • When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
  • Delight in the simple joy of a long walk with a friend.
  • Be loyal and never pretend to be something you're not.
  • When someone's having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
These are canons of kindness that make sense to me. On the other hand if you look for moral authority in god, you have to rely on someone who actually talked to god and has had him talk back. If you were to follow the rules laid down by those who want you to believe in their idea of god, madness ensues as you contort yourself into the straight jacket of some bizarre religion. If you need examples of pure love, look into the face of the dog nearest you. Every feature; the eyes, the mouth, the moist black nose, the ears that reveal everything on its mind; these will disclose to you something to hold on to in times of need, a love that is willingly shared without reservation. All that is demanded in return is a little good food, regular walks for his health and yours, and a gentle pat on the head.
Dogs don't change from North America to Europe, China to Iran, from war-torn Somalia or to war-torn Syria. Dogs are always present. God changes constantly and is either too present or too absent depending on your location on the planet and the interpretation of the lunatic d' jour.

I realize that a belief in a deity dog is almost as insane as believing in a deity god. Both result in highly unbalanced reasoning, if there is any reasoning to be had on this subject. However, this much I know. There is one natural born, psychopathic, schizophrenic, evil, animal on this planet; the cat. But don't get me started on cats.